I wonder...

I wonder if one of my New Year's resolutions to think about this blog more will happen.

I wonder if thinking and then actually writing on my blog will occur.

I wonder if our computer is fixed. (You see, this time I have had an actual, legitimate excuse for not writing!)

I wonder if you knew that 6 years and one day ago (see above for the reason I didn't write this yesterday) I was in labor. It was not an enjoyable experience. As I thought back about it yesterday, I remembered the sweating, the crying, the machine pumping out the epidural medication breaking. Twice. I also remembered the large number of things hooked and taped to various parts of my body.

Side note, oh medical tape--I wonder why hasn't someone invented medical tape that works like a post- it. Stays on when you need it, comes of nicely when you don't, rather than ripping all of your hair off your body. I came for a baby, not a wax!

Anyway, I also wonder if my hands shoving as hard as they could on my stomach in a desperate attempt to push G out from the outside as well as the inside actually helped. Or, was I just trying to force her to follow my timeline? Making her do something this instant when if I had given her another moment or two she would have done it on her own? You all know where this is going. I have a stuborn child. She was (and is) worth every second of pain. I'm finding, however, that if I am calm, she is calm. When I push, she pushes back. So this year my other New Year's Resolution is to chose patience. Patience instead of hustling. Patience instead of yelling. Patience instead of talking through clenched teeth. Patience. I wonder if it will work.