Here's a sporty little tip for you...BUYING workout clothes is not the same as actually working out. Just saying.
Also, I'm wondering if it's only in our house where the follow up conversation about the junior high schooler's sex ed course leads into a discussion about Cuba and Fidel Castro. Really? WTF? (According to Modern Family and in my mind, this always stands for "Why The Face.")
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Early bird catches the worm? Well I don't like worms!
Today my procrastinating totally paid off! I needed a day planner, well I've needed one for a while...but I want a paper one, rather than one on my phone because, you I have short arms and love me some paper! So I finally went to the store and what do you know, if you need a yearly planner in December they are like $15. However, if you need one in March you can pick one up for a sweet, sweet $1.68 with tax! Score! Now, if only I can motivate myself to write something in it before June...
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Meh
It seems as though everything in my makeup bag has something to do with turning back the hands of time. As in "age defying" or "smooths fine lines" or "refreshes skin" or "hides dark circles so you don't look like you rubbed mascara under your eyes." Oh wait, I may have added that last little part. And I wonder why my career in advertising never took off the way I had hoped...
Anyway, all of my makeup seems to be focused on overcoming challenges of aging skin. Too bad the very adolescent pimple on my chin doesn't know how to read those lables. Or perhaps I've rewound the clock too far. Back to my middle school days in 1984 when I thought I looked good in jaunty hats, jackets with shoulder pads so large the football team could have borrowed them for games, mismatched earrings (one was a small fork and the other a small knife--so like, totally bitchen!) and Keds worn with no laces and no socks (dear Lord, why hadn't Febreeze been invented back when I really needed it?). Either way, I don't know that I was prepared to use an Oxy-10 type product on the same night that I applied "Rapid Wrinkle Repair Moisturizer." Oh well. So much glamour, so little time.
Anyway, all of my makeup seems to be focused on overcoming challenges of aging skin. Too bad the very adolescent pimple on my chin doesn't know how to read those lables. Or perhaps I've rewound the clock too far. Back to my middle school days in 1984 when I thought I looked good in jaunty hats, jackets with shoulder pads so large the football team could have borrowed them for games, mismatched earrings (one was a small fork and the other a small knife--so like, totally bitchen!) and Keds worn with no laces and no socks (dear Lord, why hadn't Febreeze been invented back when I really needed it?). Either way, I don't know that I was prepared to use an Oxy-10 type product on the same night that I applied "Rapid Wrinkle Repair Moisturizer." Oh well. So much glamour, so little time.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
See, it's not just me!
Friends,
I present to you an email I received this morning from my friend who is a fancy lawyer on the east coast:
"Wish you had been with me on my morning commute today. There were a couple of noteworthy Glamour Fashion Don'ts. Remember when we took that paper marbling class? A woman was wearing a trench coat with a marbling pattern in blue, purple, fuchsia, and black swirls and spots and twirls. Marbling is great on paper but not so much on a trench coat. The other fashion don't was a woman wearing black diamond patterned tights with slingbacks, which is just the start of the don't. She was wearing a black skirt so short that the skirt didn't cover where the pattern started at the top of her legs. Then to top it all off she had on a pink North Face rain jacket."
(Sidebar, do you youngsters even know what the phrase "Glamour Don't" means? Please let me know one way or the other, you know, so I can figure out my blog demographics. Or just so I can say, "you kids get off my lawn!" Either way, I'm cool with it.)
What I find amusing is that this message was most likely typed while my friend was sitting 3 feet away from these fashion challenged folks. Gotta love public transportation!
Also, yes, I did once force my fancy lawyer friend to take a paper marbling class. It was interesting and despite leaving with all of the directions and a few key supplies, I have never, and will never, attempt to do it in my own home.
I present to you an email I received this morning from my friend who is a fancy lawyer on the east coast:
"Wish you had been with me on my morning commute today. There were a couple of noteworthy Glamour Fashion Don'ts. Remember when we took that paper marbling class? A woman was wearing a trench coat with a marbling pattern in blue, purple, fuchsia, and black swirls and spots and twirls. Marbling is great on paper but not so much on a trench coat. The other fashion don't was a woman wearing black diamond patterned tights with slingbacks, which is just the start of the don't. She was wearing a black skirt so short that the skirt didn't cover where the pattern started at the top of her legs. Then to top it all off she had on a pink North Face rain jacket."
(Sidebar, do you youngsters even know what the phrase "Glamour Don't" means? Please let me know one way or the other, you know, so I can figure out my blog demographics. Or just so I can say, "you kids get off my lawn!" Either way, I'm cool with it.)
What I find amusing is that this message was most likely typed while my friend was sitting 3 feet away from these fashion challenged folks. Gotta love public transportation!
Also, yes, I did once force my fancy lawyer friend to take a paper marbling class. It was interesting and despite leaving with all of the directions and a few key supplies, I have never, and will never, attempt to do it in my own home.
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Hey college kids--you're pretty smart, can you at least TRY to keep yourself alive?
I live in a college town. I love it. It's a community where higher education is valued. A community where there's lots of energy because there are so many 18-24 year olds. Speakers and performers come to town that normally wouldn't even stop to gas up their buses in our tiny area if the college wasn't here.
However, there are times when the students...oh the students. They kind of kill me. I've noticed that many seem to lack a self-preservation gene. I present to you the following examples:
1. This morning on three (three!) separate occasions students stepped right off the curb onto the crosswalk in front of my moving vehicle without so much as turning their head in the direction of on coming traffic. Nope, not even a break in their stride. (And yes, I am now singing "Ain't nothin' gonna to break my stride. Nobody's gonna slow me down, oh-no I got to keep on moving".) Come on people, every now and then help a driver out, heck, help yourself out, look up from the phone and toward the heavy machinery moving rapidly toward you!
2. Last night G and I were on campus, it was around 7:45 and, since it's February, it was about 30 degrees outside and snowing lightly. I'm wearing a coat and gloves, G has on her coat, hat and snowboots and we're chatting about how cold it is outside. As we're wandering around a lovely young lady walks past. And yes, I can say she was lovely because I got a very good look at her since she was only wearing a thin top, a skirt that hit her in the upper thigh area and no tights. For a brief moment, I thought, seriously? Is there a street corner where you'll be standing in a few minutes trying to earn a little tuition money? Then I remembered we don't live in that kind of town. Instead I realized she believes either her general hotness and/or righteous indignation will provide a protective heat layer until she arrives at her destination. Good luck with that!
3. While in a campus building the other day I saw a student who had sort of set up shop on the floor near an outlet, into which he had plugged his laptop. He's sitting on the floor, presenting the kind of sight you'd see in an airport perhaps. Back against the wall, laptop on his legs, backpack on one side, jacket and book on the floor on the other side along with a can of soda and a can of Pringles. Sure, fine dude-bro, if that works for you I'm cool with it. I see that he has taken a stack of Pringles out of the can (and why wouldn't he? They are delicious!) and is picking one off the top of the stack to eat. Only his "snack stack" as we'll call it, is DIRECTLY. ON. THE. FLOOR. I just threw up a little in my mouth typing that. You see the sacrifices I make for you, my precious 1.3 readers? Oh yes, the snack stack is on the same ground that gets walked on hundreds of times each day and maybe mopped with a dirty mop once a week. For a brief moment I contemplated walking toward his set up and then pretending to trip so I could squash the snack stack, thus grinding it into the layer of dirt, gum residue, and poo that is on any popular public floor but I figured I'd let nature take its course. Perhaps today he's at home throwing up thinking, "was it something I ate?" And yes, dude-bro. I'm pretty sure it was something you ate.
So, to summarize, (and sound like a grumpy old woman) look up before you cross the street! Put on a coat! Don't eat off the floor! To make it complete I guess I should add you kids get off my lawn!
Take care, more run on sentences and random tangents to come in a few days!
April
However, there are times when the students...oh the students. They kind of kill me. I've noticed that many seem to lack a self-preservation gene. I present to you the following examples:
1. This morning on three (three!) separate occasions students stepped right off the curb onto the crosswalk in front of my moving vehicle without so much as turning their head in the direction of on coming traffic. Nope, not even a break in their stride. (And yes, I am now singing "Ain't nothin' gonna to break my stride. Nobody's gonna slow me down, oh-no I got to keep on moving".) Come on people, every now and then help a driver out, heck, help yourself out, look up from the phone and toward the heavy machinery moving rapidly toward you!
2. Last night G and I were on campus, it was around 7:45 and, since it's February, it was about 30 degrees outside and snowing lightly. I'm wearing a coat and gloves, G has on her coat, hat and snowboots and we're chatting about how cold it is outside. As we're wandering around a lovely young lady walks past. And yes, I can say she was lovely because I got a very good look at her since she was only wearing a thin top, a skirt that hit her in the upper thigh area and no tights. For a brief moment, I thought, seriously? Is there a street corner where you'll be standing in a few minutes trying to earn a little tuition money? Then I remembered we don't live in that kind of town. Instead I realized she believes either her general hotness and/or righteous indignation will provide a protective heat layer until she arrives at her destination. Good luck with that!
3. While in a campus building the other day I saw a student who had sort of set up shop on the floor near an outlet, into which he had plugged his laptop. He's sitting on the floor, presenting the kind of sight you'd see in an airport perhaps. Back against the wall, laptop on his legs, backpack on one side, jacket and book on the floor on the other side along with a can of soda and a can of Pringles. Sure, fine dude-bro, if that works for you I'm cool with it. I see that he has taken a stack of Pringles out of the can (and why wouldn't he? They are delicious!) and is picking one off the top of the stack to eat. Only his "snack stack" as we'll call it, is DIRECTLY. ON. THE. FLOOR. I just threw up a little in my mouth typing that. You see the sacrifices I make for you, my precious 1.3 readers? Oh yes, the snack stack is on the same ground that gets walked on hundreds of times each day and maybe mopped with a dirty mop once a week. For a brief moment I contemplated walking toward his set up and then pretending to trip so I could squash the snack stack, thus grinding it into the layer of dirt, gum residue, and poo that is on any popular public floor but I figured I'd let nature take its course. Perhaps today he's at home throwing up thinking, "was it something I ate?" And yes, dude-bro. I'm pretty sure it was something you ate.
So, to summarize, (and sound like a grumpy old woman) look up before you cross the street! Put on a coat! Don't eat off the floor! To make it complete I guess I should add you kids get off my lawn!
Take care, more run on sentences and random tangents to come in a few days!
April
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
What, you're still here?
Oh hey guys. I've been off climbing Mt. Everest. While running a marathon. After saving a child from a burning building. Er, ah...OK, you forced it out of me. I forgot my password. And then tried to reset it. And then forgot it again. What can I say? I have short arms.
What have you been up to? Me, I've just been hanging out. Living life. Keeping busy. Driving peeps to school, basketball, gymnastics, you know, the usual. Alright, alright, really I've been hauling people around to those things between watching Top Gear, Real Housewives of Anywhere, Southland (OMG people, such. a. good. show) and playing Diner Dash.
Anyway, hope you're all well! I'll be trying to chat it up again soon.
Hugs and kisses for Valentine's Day,
April
What have you been up to? Me, I've just been hanging out. Living life. Keeping busy. Driving peeps to school, basketball, gymnastics, you know, the usual. Alright, alright, really I've been hauling people around to those things between watching Top Gear, Real Housewives of Anywhere, Southland (OMG people, such. a. good. show) and playing Diner Dash.
Anyway, hope you're all well! I'll be trying to chat it up again soon.
Hugs and kisses for Valentine's Day,
April
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Someone needs to be the adult around here
Here's the thing peeps. I am easily amused. Particularly in a 12 year old boy kind of way. It totally cracks me up when my kids say things that mean something different to adults than they do to kids. MD and I like to then repeat these statements for our own amusement. I present to you a few examples of late:
G realizing she forgot her silverware, "Oh my fork and knife!" Say it just a bit faster now... that's right, hee hee.
The other day, P talking about a kid on the bus and wondering about his bus stop. "Where does he get off?" Now say it like you're a member of Jersey Shore. Now say it like that to your child, "where do YOU get off?" Of course they don't get it and say something like, "You know, at the corner where you pick me up." Oh right, I remember, I'm an adult.
Today, while snipping apart grapes, "Mom, you've got a little cluster there." Oh G, if you only knew the number of little clusters going on in my life right now. Of course it only reminds me of Fantastic Mr. Fox referring to something as a "cluster cuss" instead of the real term, and then I'm doubly amused. Are you cussing me? Tee hee.
G realizing she forgot her silverware, "Oh my fork and knife!" Say it just a bit faster now... that's right, hee hee.
The other day, P talking about a kid on the bus and wondering about his bus stop. "Where does he get off?" Now say it like you're a member of Jersey Shore. Now say it like that to your child, "where do YOU get off?" Of course they don't get it and say something like, "You know, at the corner where you pick me up." Oh right, I remember, I'm an adult.
Today, while snipping apart grapes, "Mom, you've got a little cluster there." Oh G, if you only knew the number of little clusters going on in my life right now. Of course it only reminds me of Fantastic Mr. Fox referring to something as a "cluster cuss" instead of the real term, and then I'm doubly amused. Are you cussing me? Tee hee.
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